Jubilee Email from the Queen - an important announcement
regarding the United States of America
To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign
Majesty Queen Elizabeth II
In light of your immediate failure to financially manage yourselves
and also in recent years your tendency to elect incompetent Presidents
of the USA and therefore not able to govern yourselves, we hereby give
notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.
(You should look up ‘revocation’ in the Oxford English
Dictionary.)
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical
duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas,
which she does not fancy).
Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for
America without the need for further elections.
Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be
circulated sometime next year to determine whether any of you
noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the
following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. The letter ‘U’ will be reinstated in words such as ‘colour,’
‘favour,’ ‘labour’ and ‘neighbour.’ Likewise, you will learn to
spell ‘doughnut’ without skipping half the letters, and the suffix
‘-ize’ will be replaced by the suffix ‘-ise.’ Generally, you will be
expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up
‘vocabulary’).
too good not to be shared …
1. You arrive one hour late to a party and find out you are the first
one to arrive.
2. You think it’s perfectly normal to call someone who’s 30 years
younger than you ‘Anna just Because he’s behind a counter.
3. You wear a suit to a wedding… And you are only 3 years old.
4. The wedding takes an hour and the group pictures take five hours.
5. Your mom and sister together own more jewels than a Chinese jewelers store.
6. Your parents’ idea of a vacation is to visit the temples in India .
7. You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone’s house.
8. The minute your guests leave the house, your parents start talking
about them.
9. You rent a cassette from the grocery store, it’s been dubbed 6
times… And you return it 3 months later.
10. You go to a Tamil Cultural program only to find one Bharathanatyam
and six hip hop shows.
11. You are somehow related to every new friend you meet.
12. Your remote control is still in its plastic packet.
13. You get a 95% on a test and your parents ask What happened to the
other 5%?!’
14. You stare at Tamil people when they walk by.
15. You see married couples kissing on TV but have never your Mom &
Dad get within 3 feet of each another.
16. Your parents never address each other by name.
17. When you get your first part-time job, your parents expect you to
give them half..
18. Your mother has a minor dispute with her sister-in law and doesn’t
talk to her for 10 years.
19. Your parents say Swiss instead of Switzerland, Germany is German
and England is London .
20. You go to a party and your aunt comments on how your skin color
has changed.
21. You watch a Tamil wedding tape and all the songs from Roja are
dubbed into it.
22. When the teacher took attendance and there was a sudden pause, you
put your hand up and said ‘here.’
23. You shortened your name to make it sound Anglo-Indian.
24. You have dinner at 10pm.
25. When your parents say ‘BBC’ they don’t mean the news station but
your uncle Nathan or aunty Kamala.
26. It’s normal for all the relatives to bathe the groom on his wedding day.
27. You KNOW that your promiscuous second cousin from your father’s
side is pregnant even before she does.
28. Your aunties tease you about a particularly eligible cousin… And
you like it!!!
29. You serve all your guests tea with milk and 5 spoons of sugar.
30. You only stop putting more rice on your guests dinner plate 7
times after they tell you to stop.
31. Anytime you speak back to your parents, you get: ‘I toiled my life
for you, and this is how you repay me?!’
- ‘Naanga eppadi khasta pattathukku nee ithuvum solluvae ithukku
melayum solluvae!’
32. If you are a girl, you are expected to come home before dark -
however if it’s a son, ‘OK rasa, jaakirathaa poitu vaa…’
33. Halfway through your shower you realize that your Head and
Shoulders shampoo is gone and has been replaced by Siyakkai shampoo
34. You walk in to another Tamil family’s house and they have the same
furniture and dining set as yours.
Last but not least
35. You are a true Tamil if you forward this mail to another Tamil.
Exposed: What black money buys in Bollywood
How healthy people stay healthy when travelling
A first look at Samuel L. Jackson in Quentin Tarantino’s Django Unchained, starring Jamie Foxx as Django. From the new TV spot: http://onfs.net/LebyeW
is a dilemma arising from the situation in which multiple individuals, acting independently and rationally consulting their own self-interest, will ultimately deplete a shared limited resource, even when it is clear that it is not in anyone’s long-term interest for this to happen.
“Watch your thoughts for they become words. Watch your words for they become actions. Watch your actions for they become your habits. Watch your habits, for they become your character. And watch your character, for it becomes your destiny!” — Margaret Thatcher (Iron Lady)
(Source: tjunkie)
Four epic new banners for The Dark Knight Rises
The Dark Knight Rises has been pumping out some incredible promo material, such as six character posters featuring Batman, Catwoman and Bane, and there are now four new widescreen banners to check out.
What’s most impressive about this latest round of one-sheets is undoubtedly the scale. Follow the link to see them in hi-res…